The BEE Update

I get a lot of questions as to what my current health status is...and because I'm trying my hardest to live a normal life in spite of it being hard, I don't like thinking about it. 

So because it means a lot that you care enough to ask, and me trying to be as open as possible for the goal of helping someone through this I will update on this blog! 

We're now almost 8 months into this journey. I could say with certainty that I am having a harder time now, then ever before. Headaches are a constant thing. Fluid leak is dripping down my throat all day, but it is worse at times. I walked into a resturaunt the other day and my hands were full of fluid. It's embarrassing, and then stuffing tissue up my nose is quite noticeable. But I think that it's an opportunity to teach, and show people about my "BEE Happy Movement" and hopefully leave them better off, so I justify the embarrassment for that opportunity. 

I hate pain pills. Always have, and now I am literally in them every day! I wake up in the morning feeling quite normal, then by afternoon it's taking all I have to keep going, by 7:00 I'm having to take a pill. They give me an opportunity to get ahead of the mental game. 

Most of my day is mental. Can I keep going? I force myself to push on...while that is very heavy, it is the only way I am not in bed all day. 

Surgery will hopefully be this year. Brain surgery is what I am leaning towards. The thought terrifies me though. I pray that by the time that comes, I will be prepared emotionally. 

The biggest lesson I have learned in the last 8 months is that I am the most happy when I am helping someone else, helping them feel happy inside. There is so much power in having your heart and soul happy and strong. If more people helped each other, and truly cared about the people they see struggling, this would would change for the better nearly immediately. The Bee Happy Award starts in January, where we will award people in our community for being above reproach, and for being happy inspire of trials! I get to see many of these awesome people, it's time we show the world there is ALOT to BEE Happy about...I hope I can make a difference to at least one person.  

*I wrote this on my phone. Please forgive spelling errors, and punctuation. 

Be Thankful, and KNOW the changes you need to make...

As Thanksgiving has come and gone, it has given me a moment to reflect on the things I have in my life to be grateful for, and I have also been in thought about the things I want to be different in my life. 

I believe it's extremely healthy to know both the good, and the not as perfect things that surround your life. In order to achieve a space in your life where you are happy, you must be progressing. 

I have made a lot of changes in 2015. Some have been forced upon me. Some have come from being sick, and knowing what it's like to dream of a normal day, and others have been shaped because of relationships I am in, and people that I know. It's been the hardest year of my life, but I am better for it! 

I still have a long road. I am not where I want to be. There are many things as I sit here writing this that I want different. More than I can even say here...but I know them, and will do all I can to make the changes I need to make! 

We can change our own lives, our own future; I know it is true. It starts with BEEing Happy, and BEEing Positive. Tomorrow is the first day of the rest of your life!